To all the Mothers out there

who keeps on grumbling and complaining that their children are a burden to them.
You said, they hinder your way to a great job, great career, late nights out with friends, freedom, great body. You said, you have no time to make up, no time for a me time, no time for everything else except your children.

Well, no child asked to be in your womb, to be born by you, they are God given. Well of course, you have the option not to have sex, but since you did, you jolly well be responsible for whatever that might comes out of it. Whether it is to test your limit or to bring you to be a better person, to pay your karma debt, or to drive you to your grave, they are your responsibilities.

If you are not ready to be a mother, then don't be, stay single, have your fun, go high all you want every second of your life, travel by foot, crawl or swim across the Atlantic and nobody will give a hoot. Since you opted this path to be a mother, be good one. Be there for your child. You can be a business woman or a career woman, but be a successful one. That means you have to have a great career and a happy family, if you failed on either one, especially a neglected family, you have failed big time.

Maybe looking at how my Mother raised us, I have a big expectations of how a Mother should behave. I think she is perfect in every single way. She wakes up the earliest and will be the last to sleep. I have never in my life wakes up earlier than her. My Mother doesn't swear. She doesn't show half her boobs or half her ass around. No matter how life gets tough for her, she never once took it out on us. That's when I realized that my Mother is the family's pillar of strength.

My Daddy is not an easy person, in terms of character; he is headstrong, omygod so stubborn. Mom is the one who has to deal with him the most. Mom stayed patient and patient and patient. Never once my Mom complained about Dad, never did she ever try to make us respect Dad any lesser. Then, I realised, the strong respect we have for both our parents is because we learned the deep respect they have for each other. This made us respect both of them even more. The family stayed on strong, despite of penniless or pennifull, because of my Mom. I often think I am the family's clown as I make the most noise, sings ba ba black sheep for no reason and makes Daddy laugh. After I grow older, looking at Mom, I am so sure she is our "開心果". Only because she stays cheerful all the time, we get to enjoy her vibe and follow on. In our house, I now recall, at the age of 28, I have never heard my parents shouting at each other. I have never heard a single vulgar uttered at home. The house is always always at peace. I can't imagine the turmoils my Mother, as the greatest Mother, held it all in, stayed sane and loving to all of us 3 children. You can't imagine, my Mother, as gentle as she is, stayed strong and true to what she thinks is best for us. You can't imagine, my Mother, as soft as she is, caned us to our feet when we are not behaving. No, I don't think caning is cruel, it is only cruel when it is used to vent your anger and not in the means to teach a lesson.

My Mother has an important rule that we abide by everyday of our life when we were staying with her (my brother and I left to study abroad after we ended Primary school). I used to wonder why we stayed so close as a family despite being constantly afar from each other, we picked up like we never been apart when we met.

Then I had a vivid memory of our time together each and every night for more than 10 years. Every dinner time, we had to be sure to have dinner together at 7pm. No matter where my Dad goes, he has to be back by 7. If he wasn't back, we will wait for him. If he was showering by 7, we sat down and waited. Dad has to have the first plate of rice, first start eating, for us to be able to start eating. That was an unspoken rule. This simple act of dinner, now I know is very very important. This is the only time we, as a family, after a busy day of working and studying, got to be together, to speak, to laugh, or just enjoy a quiet time, together, as a whole, all 5 of us. This is the time, Mom and Dad passed on their life stories, life values and all the things they repeat day in, day out as a summary. That is a minimum 1 hour each day for 12 years or so we spent together. How difficult it is for an hour a day to spent with our loved ones?

My Mother, always taught us to love, never to hate. Even when others have been mean to us, even when we have been wronged for things we never did, even when people misjudged us, misunderstood us, even when our other closest people forsake us and even when people wanted us to suffer for nothing. Mom told us always, don't hate, never hate. It makes me want to cry because I wanted so much like her not to hate and it pains me so much to see how people could try to hurt someone like her. My mother, she is wise and smart. When I have a 100 questions for her, she has 101 answers and advice ready for me, so that I will never go wrong. She is all about forgiveness and love. If only when I am a Mother, I can be half as good as her, my children will be the luckiest kid in the world, like we are.

For the modern Mothers out there:
Get away from the smart phones, as simple as that.
Stop complaining about your children are your burden, they are God given and remember, God can take them away from you anytime. Cherish the time you have with them.
Kids grow up very fast, there will be one moment soon, you will miss what you have missed, so take the time now not to miss out their milestones.
Listen to them, see what they see, look into their eyes as you speak.
Be patient, talk to them, answer them patiently.

Good luck dear all Mothers...