Injured

Probably my own fault, anyway, but still need some time to get over it.
Love, friendship and all the what nots, in the end, when the time comes to choose, you didn't choose me.
Pain, but just for a while. Heartbroken, probably will be feeling pissed at all human beings for a while, but I will surface again brand new.

Friendship, why it's always when I have something good coming my way, my friendship never last? Why can't you be happy for me? Is it only when I'm down on my knees, crying, you will stood by my side, hearing me out. Yet, when I'm happy, you are never happy for me?

Hmmpphh... probably for the best, it's the end of the year, clearing rubbish from my life, both in my cupboard as well as in my heart and mind. That way, only the best will last for a brand new next year.

Did I mention I'm loving next year already? So excited for new opportunities to work alongside my hobbies, singing and photography. Will have outing next week for shooting in town, as well as outing next year January in Melaka. Oh oh, and April and her friends barkday bash. Hope everything goes as planned and we will welcome 2012 with a big big bang!

Have I told you that I love you??

 Meet my baby boy, Caesar! He's been with me for the past 4 months or so, yet I didn't have a chance to show him off. He's been accompanying me take good food, see the same scenery, capture it for me for memories. It's a gift, a very early Christmas in July when it came unexpectedly to me from a very dear cousin. I cherish this boy like a diamond. Means a lot to me and will continue take good photos, learn and learning each day...

Now watching... Dolpin Tale...

Watched it last night, but am watching it again. I love watching repeats and with that I am able to understand more of the movie, always catch something new that I missed out on the first watch.

Anyway, still hasn't gotten over my last talk with Ric O'Barry about the RWS dolphins. Felt like I can sympathize more with the animals since years ago, and it hasn't changed a bit as I get older. At least when you treat an animal nice, even if they bit you, it's still understandable, they are wild animal after all. For human? Yes, they always seems to bite the hands that feed them, and how to understand human? They are supposedly God's smartest creation, yes, also the evil-est of all.

Anyway, catch the movie if you have not!

 

Finding love

Finding back my love of singing, that is.

Learning to hit a new high with my voice with Beyonce - Listen.

How my voice has suffered with bronchitis for the past month. Coughing and coughing till my lungs felt like it's bursting inside, I can't breathe as my lungs filled with phlegm. When am I going to recover then I can practice my songs?

Anyway, this blog has been dead for what seems like the longest time, just like how it felt inside me. Sometimes I felt like I belong to nowhere, neither here nor there. I missed the way it was, when I was still with my friends, still in love, sometimes out, at least it was something. 

Hope time will change for the better, soonest... ciao!

Please let the dolphins go

I was just watching the cove the other night and felt so compelled to write about it. Then, I met the man Ric O'Barry himself. Such a great man, there's nothing pretentious about him he was funny, spontaneous and humble. Attending the dialogue session with him was an eye opener. His words from the cove and the session itself kept repeating by itself on my mind.

You should see dolphins in the wild to understand why they should not be in captivity.
The dolphins are social animals and they travel in groups. The same group that the 27 caught dolphins were from were found 128km away the next day.
Which enclosure, no matter how huge will allow them this kind of freedom and happiness.
RWS, please let the dolphins go. Their home is in the ocean.

No Pain, No Gain - Bikram Yoga

Or rather is it no pain, no lose? Don't ask me to Jia You please, Jian You instead.

Taken my first step towards a healthy lifestyle, a 90 minutes Hot Yoga classes and I try to go everyday. Well, except on weekends. I can never get people who love exercising and running, sweating just for the love of it. I can never get it!!! I wish I can though, it must be lesser a torture to exercise. I do play sports like Badminton and I love it, but other than that, no no...

Got inspired by one of our very own Indonesian singer, Agnes Monica, a very talented young girl. Britney Spears of Indonesia, I always said. I don't really like her, but recently I stumbled across her Twitter and Facebook. Her life is all about Yoga, Pilates, Gym, other than making music. The food she eat everyday is like Sweet potato and chicken breast, one of many similar ones, probably same taste. Urgh... It's no wonder she is shaped like that, and I, like this. LOL!

Anyway, hope I can pull through!!!

From strangers, to friends, to lovers.

We have always thought who we love is special, one of a kind, different. That's why out of millions of people, you fall in love with just one. From strangers, to friends, to lovers. Everything is beautiful in its own way. Happy tears, painful laughter, the world is upside down, all in the name of love. When love is gone, though, from love to hate, nothing is different, it's all the same bloody mess. From lovers to strangers, again. To see someone whom you have known so much, yet when you meet again, you know nothing. Has love changed you or them? It's a painful cycle, but time will heal, but how long will it take? One week? One month? One year? or painfully slow 10 years? Will you love another when you are recovering from that pain? Or will you never again love another the same way, but again in another different way? After all, when you are in love, we are back to square one, they are always special, different?

Wow!!

It has been sooooo sooo long since I checked in here. My hype in blogging has seriously died, dead!!

Life has been nothing and nothing, but work and work. Zzzzzzzz.... how boring! Always getting sick and sick, been having this cough for a month now and I start to wonder if anyone could die from too much coughing. Cough attack! Has never experienced being sick for this long, hope I can be in my tiptop condition soon!

Well, anyway these past few weeks have been fun hanging out with the doggie friends. A great bunch of people, I must say.

Seriously, I want to rant, but I want to sleep! HOhoHO!
Continue lata~

I felt so loved....

People looked at me and they said I am confident, carefree and there's so many other things that I know I am not. There's always this thought in my head that says that I'm only a wallflower, always. That I will never make an impact on others like how I see some of my friends are.

I was looking for my Blood donor card to check my blood type, searching through every nook and cranny, and I still never found it. Instead, I found this precious little bag where I kept most of my priceless memories. All that birthday cards, greeting cards, farewell letters, even those corny love letters from the past that I never thought about. I felt so amazingly loved, so amazingly lucky to hold a place in their hearts, even for just a moment in time.

Couldn't care less what wallflower I might be, for the people who loved me, I'm always the prettiest. Thank you for being there for me, whoever you are, wherever you are.. I'm so blessed!

August Rush

Just done rewatching August Rush, it reminds me of how talent works in this world. Some are born with it, yet never been acknowledged, while some are hard groomed with hard cash to shine no matter what. While some seriously have the luck of money, people affinity and all other things lucky, they got famous.

There are just some people on TV that I thought, why on earth are they on TV in the first place? Mediocre performance, millions of people are better than that, yet they didn't get famous. In the end, I brushed it off with well, it's their luck.

August Rush reminds me of a video I watched before. From my thinking, this girl probably had very musically talented and famous parents, who abandoned her after she was born handicapped. Explaining her musically talented genes. Her hands moved as if someone put her on a puppet string, flew smoothly and perfectly. Unbelievable!!

On GE... again...

Looks like the GE fever has not subsided yet. People all around Singapore are still talking about it, grumbling even. I think what makes me interested in this GE is that I have listened to the agonies of Singaporeans being a Singaporean. Countless numbers of taxi drivers have complained of the bloody exact same things and God knows the amount of taxi I took. It's scary in here and when the people on top don't realize what the people down there are suffering and slowly dying.

Who am I to say? I am just a foreigner in Singapore, my PR is given by PAP. Although I would say that my concerns for Singapore's growth is more than what some of my ''Native" Singaporean friends had. Right from Secondary school I am here, I heard them saying they could not wait to leave and migrate to another country. I remembered distinctly, even when I was 15, thinking how lucky they were to be here.

What I can't stand most is the way they put some parliament-misfit people in. Public protested of the emptiness she had shown, the mistakes she did. Seriously, for me, although unfair, I don't have the littlest of good vibes about her. What to do? Politics is never fair, it's never good....

I wanna vote, too!!

Unconsciously being pulled into the General Election by a colleague who showed me a video of "I don't know what to sayyy...". I came home and found myself glued to YouTube for all the things related to her. Like Ris Low, was my first thought. Nicole Seah though was truly an admiration, at such young age, look at the way she spoke, sure and steady.

Never knew politics could be so interesting, even more catchy than those catfights in America's Next Top Model. Friends are now amazed at the things I knew about rallies and all things related to upcoming GE. Sigh... Hope Singapore has got the courage to vote for who they really wanted. I know I can't vote... heee

Happy 26th

Collecting all the pieces of hope, putting them together into the puzzle of life, framing it into a beautiful memory.
And that's what we are going to be, framed, seen, felt but unchangeable. Let this be the turning point of my life, let me be more truthful to myself, my heart and my soul. Just let me be a happier being, or just let me be who I used to be. Enough of saying to myself, "If you are not coming back for good, then don't come back at all", yet somehow I still wished you came no matter what. So tired of you making and breaking your decision. I think it's time for me to decide for myself, to end it all. A closure.

Happy 26th to me and 27th to you, wherever you are. Let's be happy....

Commute... commute...

Commuting to work is getting crazier nowadays,or rather not just to work, it's anytime of the day, MRT is packed. There's too many people in Singapore now. Too many foreigners? I am one, too... Hmm...
Every morning I am just glad-er that my office is not in town as the commute is at least 3 to 4 times worst.
Sometimes there is this train that pass by empty everyday, but is not for passenger service, I quote. Everytime I see it, I Will somehow pray that SMRT will on that day be nice and say "Hey, just for today, empty train for ya!!!". Sadly so, it never happen.

Jar of hearts

A song I found recently on YouTube. Strong lyrics, apparently the singer wrote it herself over her own love experience. The song itself is a strong reflection of what I wish I can do and be strong enough to do it.

Perri penned the song about a serial heartbreaker she once dated. The singer stated in her blog the story behind the tune: "I wrote the song after I went home to Philadelphia for the holiday last December. I sat in my childhood bedroom and hid from the boy (with the jar of hearts) who wanted to see me. My heart wanted to see him, my head knew better." The song's music video was directed by Jay Martin and was shot on a soundstage designed as a New York City street.

Christina Perri
Jar Of Hearts lyrics

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Gaming - My Shops

Been pretty much addicted to gaming since like forever. Not many know this, but I could be stuck in my room without food and drink with lights off from morning till night to play my game during my Uni life. Played hardcore online games like WOW, Diablo, Battlefield, Counter Strike, even Gunbound. Don't even start on my lists of Strategy war games, some stupid girls games that I played for the sake of curiosity. I have always followed SIMS right from SIMS 1, just to see what else can it progress into and how good the graphics could get and how pretty my house could be decorated. Phew, my heart is pounding as I am writing, what a freak!

Now, with Facebook, I am crazy on trying every game I can get my hands on, some I have already deleted as it gets really boring and some have even stopped developing. Today, I had some time on hand, well maybe I can try make myself useful.

Right now, this is what I have on hand, anymore interesting ones?

I have just started playing a new game, My Shops and it's really interesting, at least for now. Check it out. http://apps.facebook.com/myshopsgame/

I like the fact that I don't have to wait until every stock, that is their bread and cakes to be totally sold out to be able to stock some more. That means I can come into the game at any point of time to restock the almost sold out goods. That's cool, not many apps have got this feature. Though I hate how the "energy", in here it's called Love generates every 6 minutes and now at level 7, I have only 15 MAX. I have to log in at 1.5 hours interval so that the Love would not be wasted. Hmm...

I also like how I can build more shops in higher level. Now I can actually build a PET SHOP! But, I don't have any more $$. Cute in-game NPC interactions, decent graphics and sound and buyable things. So far so good, I am still hyped. Interesting ideas on how you have to "create" more people by combining two different characters. Buying stocks takes minutes, instead of hours like other games. It's so cool, you gamers should try it, too...

Defying gravity

*Defying Gravity*

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/defying-gravity-lyrics-glee-cast.html ]

Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
bring me down!
ohh ohhh ohhhh!

In the stars...

Aries, no one has ever accused you of being overly diplomatic. In fact, since you have no compunction about saying what you think, your mouth regularly gets you into trouble. It's true that your verbal outbursts often relieve tension in tight situations, but there are times when kind words are a more effective way to get a point across. Why not try it?

It's written in the stars! What? I don't know how people get through their lives saying what they don't mean. For me, if I don't mean it, I don't say it. As simple as that, neither I go pretending to like somebody when I actually don't. Maybe that's why I have easily counted number of close friends, I might be losing friendship chances with people that will "grow on you" type.

You know, I have been feeling largely guilty about something I did back in November 2010. I was in this very close friendship with these 8 girls, all with the gungho and the cheesy name. We were 'almost famous' during uni time. Then one of the girl, aka bitch stole another girl's boyfriend fiance. It was all pretty maddening, as I was the first one who knew somehow. To cut the long story short, the shameless pair came to the wedding that I was attending. I met them for the very first time and how I hated what they did. All of them hugged and kissed like nothing ever happened. I can't, I just can't! I tried to avoid them, yet the bitch got the nerve to tap me on my shoulder and cheerfully said Hi!

Honestly, I had this battle in my head, whether to say hi back or do something else. So, I turned around, looked at her and then I turned away. From the corner of my eye, I saw her running to that boyfriend she had stolen, and he told her "it's allright", and then they left the party shortly after.

Was I wrong? I know it isn't my boyfriend she has stolen, but as a girl, I can feel the pain. My friend is standing right beside me as the both of them stood hand in hand. Her heart must have sunken, and I refused to accept those people that did this to her. I refused to let them be together in peace, thinking that everybody accepted them. It's horrid, I know.

Thank God, coming out of this traumatic friendship, we found out who is real. Who was willing to cry for us and with us. Thank God for this friends, they are most precious to me.

It's Friday~

and everybody in the office is in a light-hearted mood. Chirpy laughter is all around, it's usually like this, but sometimes the pressure of work and never ending customer demands killed the mood.

Gotten my leave for CNY, will be home for Gong Xi Gong Xi, so looking forward to it!

Bloggers block?

Now I know why, recently I have been watching too much Korean drama, neglecting my book reading. If I don't read, I don't have the urge to write, neither have I the language power to write. Hence, the blank in this blog. Apologies to whoever patiently waiting to hear me, hehehe... I don't think there's many, though...

Will start reading again!
Chiao~

2011!!

1 year no see? Have been a slow start of the new year. Enjoying myself with my aunts who are visiting. Been going out shopping, $$$$ all the way gone. Lots of resolutions to focus on and lots of improvements to make.

Hmmm... Blogging from iphone is not as simple as I thought. That's it for today! See ya when I can catch hold of my PC! Muacks all.