$$$

I don't know how someone could be so calculative about money? It's tiring and it makes me so much want to be calculative, too. One can have such an elaborate lifestyle, not thinking twice about buying hundred over dollars unimportant things, yet they can count up to a dollar or two over a friend. I have no issue in paying more of my share, even though I am taking less, but why can't they do the same for me? It's hurtful to have such a calculative friend seriously, it's like the more I can give, the more they will take. Maybe I should learn to be as calculative too and see whether they would be irritated, but most of the time I can't do it, as I myself would be too embarrassed to be calculative. Maybe this is why I can never have any savings... lol!

Sometimes all we need

Having a highly sociable brother, I used to hang out with his buddies, be one of the guys. I learned to pick guitar, played badminton, watched and cheered at soccer match at the bars with pints of beer, played WE and Tekken with the lousiest lad of them all just for a good laugh. Watch movie marathon and have sleepovers. Almost dated his buddies, ALMOST!! But I just didn't, as I felt they are all my brothers. Being with the guys was good, always protected like a princess. Hearing them kiss and tell was an eye opener and sometimes I felt I know just what's on their mind even before they opened their mouth.
Being one of the guys was cool, no drama, they beat drama out of the box right away. No guessing, no that time of the month, no backstabs, no gossips, all damn so peaceful.
Maybe because I was young and I simply have that dont care attitude. I loved that fuss free life, especially after a horrible fallout with my best girlfriends back at Secondary School.

Now I have my girls, both back in Oz and right here at this little island of Singapore. I am glad to have them to bitch about anything under the sun and not just from inside the tv box. I am glad that when I broke my heart, they give me a hug, bring me out for a good drink and not just a move on pat at the back. I am thankful that I have people to dramatically talk about the same damn thing over and over again, like all over again when we met and still goddamn enjoy it. I am glad to have my girls to be my gaydar. I am glad I have my girls to talk about being fat, boobs and hunks! Apart from that, I am glad to have my girls who didnt have to try to be nice. I am glad to have my girls who didnt try to hide the facts. I am glad to have my girls who didnt have to keep in touch yet we pick up like we didnt meet for a day. I am glad to have my girls who didnt mind what I wear, what brand I have and how much pocket money I have.

Just so glad, so glad...!!

Feeling blessed...

Had a tragic storyline added to my life recently, all in and out within a week.

The most tragic, short lived and hooha crush I have ever been into. Feeling so blessed that I found out not too late. It was good while it lasted, brought silly smiles to my face for a few days. Glad that I had his company for a few short days, though it didn't seem to be what it was. Brought my stress level down by few notches with him there. 

I brought upon a turmoil in the social media world, it could be well a great case study of how one person can run, but can't hide in the Internet. It was hell scary to know that if you want to find out about someone, you can and you would. 

Cannot thank the girls enough for being there for me through and through, for all the mean jokes and the genuine concerns, really I appreciate. Felt so blessed that I was saved right at the nick of time, before I fell even further than a crush. Everything was just luck; lucky that I didn't keep quiet, lucky that I had the strong hunch, lucky that it was quick, lucky that even the radar failed - another radar popped out unexpectedly to tell the truth (ha!). Blessed, really...

Helpless

Felt really helpless when a dear dear friend is so stubbornly err... stubborn. Nothing, that means nothing would ever change their mind. It's as if she had everything under control, when it's clear that she doesn't.  Sometimes I thought I would just walk away. I have done it before to friends who just can't be helped, and I would do it again. It's better to watch from afar the breaking down process than to see it under my nose, you see. Picking up the pieces ain't a pretty sight, you know? I have tried to be nicely honest, even brutally honest, yet they just don't work.
The way she asked for opinions wasn't even asking. She was just wanting to hear what she wanted to hear. When the answer isn't what she liked, she brushed it aside. Without even considering whether it's the truth. As much as  would like to be there for her, my patience has its limit. Maybe it's just time to walk away....

It's really not you...

As much as I thought that this blog is half dead or maybe entirely dead, there are alive readers. Some avid ones at that, really thankful for taking some interests in my current boring life. Well, some are upset at my posts, I wonder why. I have always been articulately diligent in not mentioning names, location or worse the person itself. I shied away from controversial topics of Religions, Race, Sexualism. I really don't appreciate getting screenshot and going viral. Really, I am not that much of that type of attention lover.

When you are looking at my posts, if you think I was writing about you, I am probably not. Though if you feel offended, there's nothing I can do about it. Take all my posts with a pinch of salt, if you want clarification, come ask me. There's probably nothing I wouldn't say. If I can say it out behind your back, you have probably heard it before anyway...

Chiao~ Remember, salt!